Adventures with television (part 1)

There are times in life where I have taken for granted the capability to run a remote control. Now, a remote control may seem easy enough to use. (As long as it isn’t a universal remote control.) But when you are 89 and really don’t give a damn, a remote control can be your biggest enemy.

Less than a month after Grandma came to North Dakota her television broke. Let me clarify, she thought her television was broken. After a frantic telephone call I rushed over to deal with the problem. Buying a new tv would be easy enough, the problem would be how I would haul the thing to her new apartment by myself. Thankfully, things never came to that.

Me: Grams, the tv is unplugged. Did you unplug the television?
Gma: No.
Me: Well, how did it get unplugged?
Gma: I don’t know.
Me: Well, I am going to plug it back in again.
Gma: Are you sure you should be doing that?
Me: Yes, Grandma. It is just a plug-in.
Gma: If you break something, you bought it. You don’t know me.
Me: Yes, I know Grandma.
TV flickers on
Gma: It works! You are really good at this stuff.
Me: I know. I majored in it for a semester.
Gma: You what.
Me: Nevermind.

I left her place after telling her once again not to unplug the tv, but to push the “power” button on her remote.

The next day on the phone:

Gma: The tv is broken. I need a new one.
Me: Is the tv unplugged.
Gma: What?
Me: Did you unplug the tv?
Gma: No.
Me: Is the cord from the back of the tv plugged into the wall.
Gma: I don’t know.
Me: Can you look.
Gma: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. The TV isn’t working.
Me: I will be over later to look at it, okay?
Gma: I need a new tv. This one keeps breaking.

When I went over there that night I found that once again the tv was unplugged.

Me: Grams, the tv is unplugged. Did you unplug the television?
Gma: No.
Me: Well, how did it get unplugged?
Gma: I don’t know.
Me: Who else would unplug it?
Gma: I don’t know.
Me: Okay, Grams, don’t unplug it again or the tv won’t work. I am going to tape a note right beside it that says “DO NOT UNPLUG”. If you unplug it the tv will be broken.
Gma: (shrugging) Whatever.

I would like to say that was the end of our adventure with her broken television, but she continued to unplug it. After about the 32nd time I was unsure of what to do. I couldn’t just keep running over there to plug it in. Finally, one night I came up with a great idea.

Me: (holding my purse) Grandma, can you go downstairs and see if my purse is down there.
Gma: No, go do it yourself.
Me: I really have to go to the bathroom.
Gma: Fine.

Very quickly and with a lot of grunting and groaning I pushed her large entertainment center over 4 inches, right over the plug in. (Insert evil laugh) With that the television was never broken, or at least broken that way, again.