Beniffer? Daniffer? Meh.

From time to time I like to bring friends over so they actually believe that my grandma is as crazy as I make her out to be. My friend Jen was recently given this honor.

Me: Gma, this is my friend Jen.
Gma: Ben?
Me & Jen: Jen
Gma: Dan?
Jen: Jen
Gma: Meh. Where are you from?
Jen: Southern Minnesota
Gma: Oh…
Gma: So, what is your name?
Jen: Jen.
Gma: Ben?
Me: Jennifer
Gma: Bennifer?
Me: Jennifer.
Gma: Oh? That is a nice name.
Jen: Uh…thanks.

After repeatedly asking Jen where she was from, I knew that it was time to finish our short, but oh so pleasant visit.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Breaking up with someone can be a chore and one is usually left with feelings of disillusionment and pain. I don’t know how anyone could get through it alone, thank goodness I have Gma. (snickering)

Gma: How is your boyfriend?
Me: We broke up.
Gma: Why? What did he do?
Me: He was clingy.
Gma: Lin-G-y?
Me: Clingy.
Gma: Cling-ley?
Me: CLINGY!
Gma: Clin-G-y?
Me: Uhg. He always wanted to know where I was and who I was with.
Gma: Oh? He didn’t trust you?
Me: Exactly.
Gma: What did you do?
Me: Nothing. He was just clingy.
Gma: Clin-L-y?
Me: (sigh) He just wanted to know where I was.
Gma: I don’t like that. He didn’t trust you. You know what I say to that?
Me: What?
Gma: (blowing raspberry {seriously}) That’s no happy birthday.
Me: You’re right. That’s no happy birthday.
(silence)
Gma: How is your boyfriend?
Me: We broke up.
Gma: That is what I thought. Why?

We continued on with this conversation for around 2 more hours, but it was always nice knowing that Gma had my back.

My Competition…also known as Emmy, the 7-year old

I will admit it had been quite sometime between visits to Gma. Recently, I stopped in for a little visit and found that good ol’ Gma had basically replaced me…with a 7-year old named Emmy*.

Me: Gma? Who is the girl in this picture?
Gma: Emmy, of course.
Me: Ummm…Emmy? Who is Emmy?
Gma: My pen pal.
Me: Well, do you want me to put the pictures of boys and I up?
Gma: I don’t want them up. I have Emmy.
Me: (thinking that she was finally getting her marbles back.) What is my name Gma?
Gma: Meh, I don’t know.
Me: Gwen.
Gma: Eh, that is what I thought.

As I sat there listening to all the things that Emmy and Gma had done I began to grow a bit jealous. I also noted that there were several paintings around the apartment.

Me: Gma? Have you been painting? (Holding up painting) This is really cute.
Gma: Not mine.
Me: Are you sure? It has your name on it.
Gma: Not mine.
Me: Who else would have put your name on it?
Gma: Someone sneaky.
Me: Hmmm…(holding up photo of Gma painting) What are you doing in this photo?
Gma: Painting with Emmy of course. I just did blue circles.
Me: Ah. I see.

Obviously, I need to visit Gma a little more often so I can bump Emmy* out of the running for favorite grandchild.

*Child’s name has been changed.